


And The Truth Is

by revenblue



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, POV Second Person, Self-cest, Truth or Dare, plausibly post-canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-05 23:55:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12199833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revenblue/pseuds/revenblue
Summary: "Why the fuck ishehere?" you demand, staring at your own doppelganger. He looks just like you, right down to the nubby horns and overbite. "I bet it was Strider. He's exactly the kind of douche who would do this."





	And The Truth Is

**Author's Note:**

> This is all because of a random prompt generator. Not even _my_ randomly generated prompt, someone else's, but I couldn't resist the idea. Had to make my old Homestuck otp kiss. :P
> 
> (This is why you should never trust me with prompts.)

All you wanted was a nice quiet night with some friends. That was it. So of course the universe couldn't even give you that.

"Why the fuck is _he_ here?" you demand, staring at your own doppelganger. He looks just like you, right down to the nubby horns and overbite. "I bet it was Strider. He's exactly the kind of douche who would do this."

"Wasn't me," Strider says immediately, before taking a sip of his apple juice. Everyone else follows his lead in denying all responsibility. Except, you notice, Lalonde.

Your double smiles, and it's just as much of a threat as a grin from a cholerbear. "Hello to you too, fucknubs." Then he pushes past you into your cramped apartment.

It's mostly cramped because of all the other bodies crammed in there. You've got Strider perched in your chair, Terezi sprawled out on the foot of your bed, Kanaya and Lalonde curled up on your pillow, Harley dangling off the side of the bed, Egbert lying flat on the floor... and now yourself. Two of you. Fuck. Your apartment wasn't designed for this.

You close the door behind you and grab one of the bottles Harley brought along. "Let's get this fucking show on the road."

Strider takes that as his cue to start explaining the bullshit human customs he wants you all to engage in while Egbert tries to choke himself on his own laughter. You don't trust either of them.

Lalonde is smiling too, and you trust her even less.

At least the supposed rules are simple. Reveal embarassing secrets, or perform tricks like a trained treebeast. Why did you agree to this. You blame Strider.

Eventually, after some more of the usual shenanigans, you all settle into the game. Strider proves to be a master, completing every dare sent his way with aplomb. Terezi comes a close second, and you can tell how much that small margin irks her.

Meanwhile, Lalonde emotionally vivisects everyone stupid enough to invite prying into their personal lives, whether she's the one prying or not. You're more than a little terrified of her, if you're honest.

So you pick dare the first time around, and you're thankful Egbert's the one asking because he suggests a harmless prank. Well, relatively harmless. Your neighbours are going to hate you in the morning, you're sure of it. But fuck it, you're having fun.

On the second, the other you challenges you into posting a chapter of the Thresh Prince fanfic you've been working on for the last three years. Smug douchewaffle knew you wouldn't be able to cluckbeast out if other people knew. So you do it, you open Troll Archive Of Our Own and paste in the first chapter of your masterpiece. All 24k words of it.

Somehow you're not surprised when Lalonde immediately pulls out her phone. And even less surprised when Kanaya leans into her to see the screen as well. You know it's only a matter of time before they start giggling, so you interrupt with a challenge for Lalonde.

As expected, she's confident enough to volunteer to spill a secret, putting you on the back foot as you try to think of something you wouldn't mind knowing the answer to. Eventually you settle on asking about her stuffed toys, because that has to be safe, right?

Wrong.

You lean back against the side of your desk where you'd planted your butt earlier and try not to let on how disturbing her answer was, barely paying attention while the game continues without you.

Then it's your turn again.

Terezi leans forwards, glasses gleaming in the dim light. "Truth or dare?" It's anyone's guess how she manages to make eye contact, you've caught yourself wondering about it once or twice, but she wields it to great effect regardless.

"Truth," you say, because why the fuck not. You're buzzed from the alcohol, relaxed, and you think you've earned some oversharing. Even the threat of Lalonde can't intimidate you.

If anything, Terezi's grin stretches wider, like she was waiting for her chance, and you dread what's coming. She waits, long enough that you have to push down the urge to squirm. "Would you pail a clone of yourself?" she asks, looking at you like a meowbeast looks at its prey, except with more teeth. Fuck. You forgot Terezi was a threat in and of herself.

Heat flares in your cheeks. "Dare."

It's as good as admitting it, and you know she knows it. Her nostrils flare, like she's sniffing at you, and behind her you see Kanaya passing Lalonde a handful of boonbucks.

"Kiss him," she says, pointing unerringly at your double. "Flushed."

You turn to face him as he presses the back of his grasp nub to his forehead in an exaggerated swoon. Asshole.

But two can play at that game.

You step across the tiny room and wrap an arm around his waist, leaning in close. "Pucker up, asscactus," you whisper, staring into his glance nuggets. Then you drop him, because you can.

And, because misery loves company and you're the most miserable of all, he digs his claws into your shirt and pulls you down after him. You shove at him but his lips meet yours and it's...

Nice.

Which is not something you thought you'd ever think about your own kissing technique.

"Get a room," Egbert says from behind you.

You and your double both turn to snarl at him. "We have one, shitlord, it's just that you're in it," you say.

There's a soft thunk as Strider sets down his apple juice. "I'm not gonna stop you stop you," he drawls, sitting up in your chair like he thinks it means he can see you better, and you can hear the wink in his voice. He's probably actually winking too, not that you can see it with the way his shades hide his eyes. Why are you dating such an insufferable prick.

The other you looks just as unimpressed as you feel. "No one asked you," he says. "Fuck off."

"Oh I'm so scared." Sarcasm. Refuge of the criminally dumb. "What are you gonna do, _dare me_?"

Your double whispers in your ear and you grin. "You know, I think I will." This is the best idea you've ever had. Thank you, future you, you finally pulled through for yourself.

He leans back in the chair, the very picture of confidence. "Lay it on me, Vantas."

"Order me a pizza."

His face is priceless. Lalonde snaps a photo, presumably for blackmail purposes, which you'll have to get off her later.

Not long later - about ten minutes - you're enjoying the sweet taste of victory. Specifically, the pineapple pizza you asked for specifically to mess with him.

"Dude, how can you eat that?" he asks as you shove another slice into your gaping maw.

You let your middle finger answer for you.

"Dare you to eat a slice," your double says from where he's inspecting his claws. He claimed your chair while Strider was busy dealing to the pizza, and is really rocking the 'unconcerned' look if you do say so yourself.

Strider blanches again. "We're not even playing any more, everyone else is gone."

Yeah, because they got one whiff of your pizza and absconded off to ransack the local fast food joints. Either way, it's a win for you. Less assholes crammed into your room, _and_ you beat Strider at his own game. The only ones left are you, your double, and your shitty boyfriend who you're horns over heels for.

"How long are you going to stand there and look disgusted?" you ask through a mouthful of your _extremely delicious_ pizza, spraying crumbs all over him.

Not long, apparently, if the way he runs for the door is any indication. Then he stops, one hand on the door handle. "Before I go," he says, turning back to you, "wanna go mess with your past self?"

You throw a chunk of pizza crust at him and his stupid dumb kissable smile. "Fuck you, I knew it was your fault."

"So that's a yes?"

"Of course it is, dumbfuck."

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, a fic about something other than my otp-of-otps and it's _not crack_ XD
> 
> Title comes from [Talking To Myself](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvs68OKOquM) by Linkin Park, which isn't really relevant aside from a few lines that fit pretty well when taken out of context. (But I love the song, so :P)
> 
> I totally swiped the pizza thing from [a tumblr post](http://revenblue.tumblr.com/post/164614892954/sand-paper-dreams-v3nice-truth-or-dare) too ;)


End file.
